Reader response number 2
Two ways a woman can get hurt: advertising and violence, is a story written by Jean Kilbourne that describes how advertising can lead to violence against women. She shows pictures of ads and explains in detail how the ads dehumanize and objectify women and compares the pictures to pornography. "Pornography is more dangerously mainstream when its glorification of rape and violence shows up in mass media" (577). Kilbourne explains the harsh realities of the women who are victims of sexual harassment and some of their actions after being hurt.
According to Kilbourne it is dangerous to depict women and men as sex objects because once a human is turned into an object it justifies violence against that person. She believes the objectification of women is more troubling than men because there is very little risk for men where as women are always at risk. "When men objectify women, they do so in a cultural context in which women are constantly objectified and in which there are consequences-from economic discrimination to violence" (588).
Regardless of the situation women are held more responsible for being sexual assaulted than men. A young girl accused William Kennedy Smith of raping her, a jury of mostly women acquitted Smith and used the fact the young women was wearing victories secret panties, against her. The court would not allow Smiths history of violence against women in the trial. In 1990 a male Canadian judge accused a 13 year old girl of being sexually aggressive and suspended the sentence of her molester who was free to return to his job of babysitter.
Between one third and three quarters of all sexual assaults involve alcohol consumption by the perpetrator, victim or both and over half of rapes on college campus involve alcohol. Kilbourne quotes a Jose Cuervo ad, "The night began with a bottle of Cuervo and ended with a vow of silence" implying date rape.
Kilbourne states, "Women are especially cruel judges of other women's sexual behavior, mostly because we are so desperate to believe that we are in control of what happens to us and it is reassuring to believe that we can avoid it by being good girls, avoiding dark places, staying out of bars and dressing innocently". Sadly I have to agree with that, I like to think that I have control over what happens to me and that if a guy tried to hurt me I would be able to fight him off. I sometimes forget that I'm only 5 feet tall and 105 pounds, generally guys are much bigger and stronger than me and they are the ones that actually have control. I had to learn that lesson a few different times the hard way because I didn't want to accept the fact that I don't have control.
According to the former surgeon general, "battery is the single greatest cause of injury to women in America, more common than automobile accidents, muggings, and stranger rapes combined." And a 1998 study by the federal government says one in five women have been the victim of rape or attempted rape, most before their 17th birthday.
Victims of sexual assaults have a very hard time living through the attack and after as well. Girls who are sexually abused are set up for addictions and self destructive behavior. A shocking report about a 5th grade boy describes, him repeatedly touching another students breasts and genitals while saying, "I want to get in bed with you" and “I want to feel your boobs". The young girl told the authorities but they did nothing until her parents found she had written a suicide note and decided to take the board of education to court.
I have to agree with Kilbourne on all of her points written in the story. I think advertising does have a subconscious effect of people and their reactions to violence against women. Some of her examples are just disgusting and shocking today the least.
I have always been a strong woman, I wouldn't let anyone tell me I can't do something, they just gave me a reason to try harder to succeed. I remember being young in elementary and middle school, the teachers giving speeches about girls being safe and the realities of what can happen, burin ever believed it could happen to me so I didn't care. I was 13 years old and my best friend had an older brother who was 22. I thought he was the coolest thing; he could drink, had tattoos, piercings and drove a motorcycle. One night I decided I wanted him to think I was cool too so I suggested we all get drunk, I had never drunken much alcohol at that point in my life but I wanted to be cool. He took my virginity that night. I didn't tell anyone at first because I couldn't tell in my heart, if I wanted it or if it was just the alcohol or if it would make me seem cool.
When I was 15 I had a very close friend to me, sexually assault me. I didn't tell anyone because I couldn't believe it happened again and by someone so close to me. I told him everything and he had always been there for me. Many months went by then I told my councilor, I surprisingly felt better like I got it out of me. I then told other close friends and after months of feeling worthless I felt I empowered. Like I wasn't going to let him change my life or who I was, he wasn't going to have the satisfaction of knowing how much he hurt me.
After both assaults happened to me I became angry but more hurt and depressed. I even tried killing myself multiple times and I was addicted to cutting myself and I also became anorexic. I didn't have control over what happened to me and I couldn't control the emotions I felt inside so I turned to harming myself. Food was something I could control, I had control over how much I ate and how much I didn't eat and cutting made me feel like I was literally getting the pain out of me. I know how contradictory that sounds but it’s how I felt with everything going on in my life at that point. I haven't cut myself in over three years and I have been maintaining a healthy weight. Kilbourne made very good points and I have experienced some, first hand so I have to agree with her. I would like to say I'm sorry if my story offended any readers. I am no longer ashamed of my past and the things I've done or the things that have happened to me. I am an open book, if the statistics are correct; I’m not the only girl in our English class to experience rape. I hope my story can bring someone just one person strength because I've been through it all and I made it out just fine. No woman should ever allow anyone, especially a man to take away her smile.
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