RA #3

"Bros Before Hoes": The Guy Code is a wonderful analysis explaining Michael Kimmels views on the pressures guys are put under to act a certain way. This section is part of his book written in 2008, "The Perilous World Where Boys Become Men". Kimmel writes this story to provide insight as to why guys act they way they do, he describes that young boys are taught from a very young age how to act by their peers. Kimmels exigence explains the negitive effects of this "guy code" has on men. I believe the intended audience is mostly young men, but also women because it gives great reasoning and examples about men's actions. Kimmel claims that men are are judged on their masculinity by other men and the guy code is a a set of rules men must follow to be a real man, he refutes that their actions are not biological. He also claims that women don't play a role within the code and the guy code causes social and psychological problems for boys and young men.

Kimmel describes a top ten list of rules composed by men in which they must follow: "1. Boys don't cry, 2. It's better to be mad then sad, 3. Don't get an-get even, 4. Take it like a man, 5. He who has the most toys when he died, wins, 6. Just do it/ride or die, 7. Size matters, 8. I don't stop and ask for directions, 9. Nice guys finish last and 10. It's all good" (609). If a guy doesn't follow the code he will  be scrutinized by other men and often times lose friends which leads to low self esteem. When he asked some of his male students what would happen if they refused to follow the guy code, he got answers such as, "'I would lose my friends', 'get beat up', 'I'd be ostracized', 'loose my self esteem'. Some say they'd take drugs and drink..'kill myself' says one guy. 'Kill them,' responds another.. One guy said 'I'd probably pull a columbine. I'd show them that they couldn't get away with calling me that shit'"(614). By these men's responses it seems quite obvious that men are afraid of what other men will think and how they would react. Kimmel explains that guys actions are not determined by the fact that men have an XY chromosome but because they feel the peer pressure by other men. "If it were biological, it would be as natural as breathing or blinking. In truth, the Guy Code fits as comfortably as a straight jacket" (615). He explains that in men's eyes, women have almost no place on the social ladder so it is useless for a man to be defined by a woman. However, "women often become a kind of currency by which men negotiate their status with other men, women are for possessing, not emulating" (611). Kimmel also explains the negative social and psychological issues caused by the guy code. He states, "boys are more prone to depression, suicidal behavior, and other various forms of out of control or out of touch behaviors than girls are", "boys drop out of school and are diagnosed as emotional disturbed four times more often than girls" (616). Kimmel believes these issues are caused from the guy code because in boys as young as three, were taught that "their connection to mother will emasculate them, turn them into a mamas boy" (615). Men are scared of what other men will say or think about them regardless of the situation, the guy code actually causes more harm than good to these young men.

Kimmel uses pathos by explaining how young boys are introduced to the guy code, such as his example about the three year old boy that was crying at the barbershop because he was burnt by hot chemicals. The barber said to the boys dad, he was a wimp for crying and he needed to stay away from his mom and the boys dad decided after that, his child was spending more time with him and less time with his mother because he was scared of his son being a mamas boy. While reading this I thought that was ridiculous, a three year old is going to cry, especially if he gets hurt. He shouldn't be forced to spend less time with his mom, he's only three and his dad should realize his child is going to cry and not take him away from his mom because he is scared of what other men will say or think.

Logos is used when Kimmel describes that 90% of all driving offenses, excluding parking violations, are committed by men and 93% of road ragers are male. As I read that I agreed that it seems pretty much true except I'm in that left over 10% and 7% when it comes to driving. I personally love driving fast and I have a tendency to yell at other drivers that don't know what they're doing.

Ethos is defined by his experience dealing with the issues men face with their masculinity. Kimmel is a sociologist, he has written or edited more than a dozen books on men and masculinity as well as editing the journal Men and Masculinity. He teaches at the State University of New York and he is a spokesperson for the National Orginization for Men Against Sexism. He has also been an expert witness for the U.S. Department of Justice in two sexual discrimination cases involving military academies which had excluded women. As a reader, after finding out all of his experience with this topic I felt he was very creditable and knew exactly what he was talking about.

I really enjoyed reading this story, it actually opened my eyes to the pressures guys are under. It's easy to think the majority of guys are just assholes but now I have a better understanding why they act they way they do. Kimmel provides wonderful examples and I personally believe the statements he got from some of his male students added a lot of power and proved his point very well. I also agree with the women's responses when asked how to know if a guy is gay or not. I found it shocking the answers some of the young ages 3 to 5 year old boys gave but it really showed how the guy code effects men of all ages. When it comes down to it, men will always be men and most likely deal with these rules by other men but hopefully now, us women can understand the reasoning behind men's actions.