essay 2 final draft

December 11, 2012

Dear Young Men;

Most people are aware of the stereotype that women are more emotional than men, which I’m sure the majority of men will agree is true. When someone see’s a woman who is crying, the first thing that comes to mind is something along the lines of “women always cry and get emotional” without even considering what the woman is upset about. Granted women in general, tend to cry a lot but that doesn’t mean they are more emotional than men. Women are just better at expressing their emotions.

There is another common stereotype that men should not show their emotions. Women often believe this and hold all men accountable for the stereotype. Although the stereotype has truth to it, it doesn't mean men don't feel the same emotions as women. Generally women show their emotions to the public while men keep their emotions inside promoting the stereotype. According to Goldsmith, "Men tend to have a greater control over their emotions and what they will display to the world, possibly due to having more difficulty displaying emotion than women." However, men usually express their emotions to only a small amount of people they feel comfortable with and tend to downplay their emotions while women tend to act as if the world is coming to an end.

Talking about emotions is a very important skill to have but men and women have different conversational styles. Women tend to talk faster when they get excited and interrupt men when they are struggling to find the right words. As a result of this excitement, men tend to shut down because they feel unable to express themselves because women cut them off in their train of thought in the middle of a sentence. According to psychotherapist Barton Goldsmith, "Men find it more difficult to attach words to emotions and getting back on track in an emotional conversation can be very difficult for them". Although men and women feel the same emotions, men can't express their emotions very well which makes it easy to assume that women are more emotional than men.

There is another factor which explains partially why men can’t express their emotions like women. Men have either consciously or subconsciously been influenced by male peers to conform to the “guy code” which is a set of rules all men must follow. The main rules are to never show emotion, be aggressive and show no mercy. It has been discovered by psychologists that young elementary school boys have been influenced by this code in one way or another. According to numerous psychologists, “as a result, boys feel effeminate not only if they express their emotions, but even if they feel them” (Kimmel 616). Being the woman I am, this makes me sad to think that guys are put under so much pressure from other men and women to act a certain way. It isn’t fair that society holds such high expectations on the ways men are supposed to act.

On the contrary, women are labeled as emotional because they express their emotions by crying when they are dealing with too much stress, whereas men get angry. Yet anger is an emotion and men generally seem angrier than women but aren't labeled as emotional. Anger and sadness are both emotions felt and expressed by both men and women, but men get angry more often then women get sad. Think about driving: men and women both drive but usually women don't cry if someone cuts them off whereas men yell, threaten and sometimes injure or kill someone that cut them off. As well as sports; men often yell, cheer, celebrate or break things, hurt or even kill over such a small, minor hobby. Obviously both genders get angry and sad; different individuals within the different sexes display diverse amounts of anger and sadness.

Consider incarceration statistics, according to the U.S. Bureau of Justice Statistics, in 2009 approximately 2,096,300 men and 201,200 women were in state, federal or county jail. “One out of 18 men and one in 89 women were charged with violent crimes in 2008”. As one can see, men are more violent than women and violence is caused from the emotion anger. If guys would try to learn how to express their emotions, they wouldn’t end up in prison or dead. Men have so much built up inside of them and they feel like the only way they can get rid of it is through anger and violence, but that isn’t the case. Men would benefit all around if they opened up more and talked about their feelings before they do something stupid.

Women are a lot stronger and tougher than most people think. Women endure physical pain in such a way men could never even begin to comprehend: childbirth. And some single mothers have full time jobs and are raising half the children in America all by themselves. Despite their pain, tolerance and strength they have. Ken Solin, author and men's support group activist, believes women’s greatest power is their emotional strength. Women naturally care for others, especially their families. Women can easily care for their children and husbands at the same time and they are not scared or embarrassed of their emotions, unlike men. "Men who think women are weak because they cry more easily than they do are delusional. Women cry to release their pent-up emotions, instead of holding them in and blowing up. Men have yet to learn this simple lesson." Solin has worked for over twenty years with men through divorces, sharing kids, single parenting, relationships, dysfunctional boyhoods, anger, depression and anxiety among many other issues. Provided with Solin’s background in men's mental health and the fact that he is a man praising women for their strengths and downgrading men’s conceptions of women, he successfully explains that men are incapable of being emotionally and physically as strong as women.

Men are also the causes of emotional issues to themselves, women, and their children. Fathers, who don’t spend time with their children or neglect child support, hurt them because they deny their children emotional support and stability, the most important aspect growing up. According to Solin, “Most of the male dysfunctional behavior that causes so much pain to everyone is related to their inability to respond appropriately to their own feelings.” Men tend to take out their anger on women, not because they are angry at women, but because women are usually physically smaller and easy targets. Honestly, men need to stop taking out their anger on everyone else and accept responsibility for causing so much pain to themselves and the people around them and if they don’t want to do that for themselves, they should do it for their loved ones.

I want to specifically state that I do not blame guys for the ways they act and handle emotions. I blame society and the standards set for men to live up to. It is ridiculous that men can’t express themselves the way they need to in order to prevent detrimental consequences.

Consider rap music: most rappers are young men, specifically black men. The majority of people that have ever listened to a rap song agree that they sound angry and degrade women. According to Joan Morgan, author of “From Fly Girls to Bitches and Hoes”, “It is criminal that the only space our society provided for the late Tupac Shakur to examine the pain, confusion, drug addiction, and fear that led to his arrest and his eventual assassination was in a prison cell” (Morgan 606). I agree with her completely, I listen to rap every single day and I hear the pain in the rappers voices behind the lyrics. In my opinion, Tupac was one of the greatest rappers that ever lived; he has a variety of tones in his songs. Some of his songs are very violent and aggressive, others are sad and depressing and some of his best songs are the ones that state the bold truth with the consequences associated. He was a very talented man that had gone through unimaginable things and he had no one to turn to. Society didn’t care what he felt inside, society only cared about arresting him and hearing his music. If society would have given him a chance, a safe place to express himself, he probably wouldn’t have ended up in prison and eventually killed. This goes the same for all men out there. If men had a place to talk about the things they felt inside without fear of being judged and felt cared for, they would be a lot happier.

Men and women need to make a change together. Men are just as emotional as women, if not more; men just express it in different ways. If a man can accept the fact it is hard for him to express his emotions, regardless of the reasons why, then men and women can change this together. Women are programmed to care, love and nurture. Women want to be there for men. They want to support men, make them feel happier and prevent all of the hate, anger and violence but men have to accept that they have and feel emotions in order for women to help. Once he does that, he can do anything. Together, men and women will make society a better place where men are not scrutinized for having and expressing their emotions. Emotions are uncontrollable feelings felt inside that no one should be blamed for having. Together we will make a change and men will feel safe to express themselves and will receive the support, care and compassion they deserve. 

Sincerely,

Sara Estrada

essay #2 revised draft

November 25, 2012

Dear Young Men;

Most people are aware of the stereotype that women are more emotional than men, which I’m sure the majority of men will agree is true. When someone see’s a woman who is crying, the first thing that comes to mind is something along the lines of “women always cry and get emotional” without even considering what the woman is upset about. Granted women in general, tend to cry a lot but that doesn’t mean they are more emotional than men. Women are just better at expressing their emotions.

There is another common stereotype that men should not show their emotions. Women often believe this and hold all men accountable for the stereotype. Although the stereotype has truth to it, it doesn't mean men don't feel the same emotions as women. Generally women show their emotions to the public while men keep their emotions inside promoting the stereotype. According to Goldsmith, "Men tend to have a greater control over their emotions and what they will display to the world, possibly due to having more difficulty displaying emotion than women." However, men usually express their emotions to only a small amount of people they feel comfortable with and tend to downplay their emotions while women tend to act as if the world is coming to an end. 

Talking about emotions is a very important skill to have but men and women have different conversational styles. Women tend to talk faster when they get excited and interrupt men when they are struggling to find the right words. As a result of this excitement, men tend to shut down because they feel unable to express themselves because women cut them off in their train of thought in the middle of a sentence. According to psychotherapist Barton Goldsmith, "Men find it more difficult to attach words to emotions and getting back on track in an emotional conversation can be very difficult for them". Although men and women feel the same emotions, men can't express their emotions very well which makes it easy to assume that women are more emotional than men.

There is another factor which explains partially why men can’t express their emotions like women. Men have either consciously or subconsciously been influenced by male peers to conform to the “guy code” which is a set of rules all men must follow. The main rules are to never show emotion, be aggressive and show no mercy. It has been discovered by psychologists that young elementary school boys have been influenced by this code in one way or another. According to numerous psychologists, “as a result, boys feel effeminate not only if they express their emotions, but even if they feel them” (Kimmel 616). Being the woman I am, this makes me sad to think that guys are put under so much pressure from other men and women to act a certain way. It isn’t fair that society holds such high expectations on the ways men are supposed to act.

On the contrary, women are labeled as emotional because they express their emotions by crying when they are dealing with too much stress, whereas men get angry. Yet anger is an emotion and men generally seem angrier than women but aren't labeled as emotional. Anger and sadness are both emotions felt and expressed by both men and women, but men get angry more often then women get sad. Think about driving: men and women both drive but usually women don't cry if someone cuts them off whereas men yell, threaten and sometimes injure or kill someone that cut them off. As well as sports; men often yell, cheer, celebrate or break things, hurt or even kill over such a small, minor hobby. Obviously both genders get angry and sad; different individuals within the different sexes display diverse amounts of anger and sadness.

Consider incarceration statistics, according to the U.S. Bureau of Justice Statistics, in 2009 approximately 2,096,300 men and 201,200 women were in state, federal or county jail. “One out of 18 men and one in 89 women were charged with violent crimes in 2008”. As one can see, men are more violent than women and violence is caused from the emotion anger. If guys would try to learn how to express their emotions, they wouldn’t end up in prison or dead. Men have so much built up inside of them and they feel like the only way they can get rid of it is through anger and violence, but that isn’t the case. Men would benefit all around if they opened up more and talked about their feelings before they do something stupid.

Women are a lot stronger and tougher than most people think. Women endure physical pain in such a way men could never even begin to comprehend: childbirth. And some single mothers have full time jobs and are raising half the children in America all by themselves. Despite their pain, tolerance and strength they have. Ken Solin, author and men's support group activist, believes women’s greatest power is their emotional strength. Women naturally care for others, especially their families. Women can easily care for their children and husbands at the same time and they are not scared or embarrassed of their emotions, unlike men. "Men who think women are weak because they cry more easily than they do are delusional. Women cry to release their pent-up emotions, instead of holding them in and blowing up. Men have yet to learn this simple lesson." Solin has worked for over twenty years with men through divorces, sharing kids, single parenting, relationships, dysfunctional boyhoods, anger, depression and anxiety among many other issues. Provided with Solin’s background in men's mental health and the fact that he is a man praising women for their strengths and downgrading men’s conceptions of women, he successfully explains that men are incapable of being emotionally and physically as strong as women.

Men are also the causes of emotional issues to themselves, women, and their children. Fathers, who don’t spend time with their children or neglect child support, hurt them because they deny their children emotional support and stability, the most important aspect growing up. According to Solin, “Most of the male dysfunctional behavior that causes so much pain to everyone is related to their inability to respond appropriately to their own feelings.” Men tend to take out their anger on women, not because they are angry at women, but because women are usually physically smaller and easy targets. Honestly, men need to stop taking out their anger on everyone else and accept responsibility for causing so much pain to themselves and the people around them and if they don’t want to do that for themselves, they should do it for their loved ones.

I want to specifically state that I do not blame guys for the ways they act and handle emotions. I blame society and the standards set for men to live up to. It is ridiculous that men can’t express themselves the way they need to in order to prevent detrimental consequences.

Consider rap music: most rappers are young men, specifically black men. The majority of people that have ever listened to a rap song agree that they sound angry and degrade women. According to Joan Morgan, author of “From Fly Girls to Bitches and Hoes”, “It is criminal that the only space our society provided for the late Tupac Shakur to examine the pain, confusion, drug addiction, and fear that led to his arrest and his eventual assassination was in a prison cell” (Morgan 606). I agree with her completely, I listen to rap every single day and I hear the pain in the rappers voices behind the lyrics. In my opinion, Tupac was one of the greatest rappers that ever lived; he has a variety of tones in his songs. Some of his songs are very violent and aggressive, others are sad and depressing and some of his best songs are the ones that state the bold truth with the consequences associated. He was a very talented man that had gone through unimaginable things and he had no one to turn to. Society didn’t care what he felt inside, society only cared about arresting him and hearing his music. If society would have given him a chance, a safe place to express himself, he probably wouldn’t have ended up in prison and eventually killed. This goes the same for all men out there. If men had a place to talk about the things they felt inside without fear of being judged and felt cared for, they would be a lot happier.

Men and women need to make a change together. Men are just as emotional as women, if not more; men just express it in different ways. If a man can accept the fact it is hard for him to express his emotions, regardless of the reasons why, then men and women can change this together. Women are programmed to care, love and nurture. Women want to be there for men. They want to support men, make them feel happier and prevent all of the hate, anger and violence but men have to accept that they have and feel emotions in order for women to help. Once he does that, he can do anything. Together, men and women will make society a better place where men are not scrutinized for having and expressing their emotions. Emotions are uncontrollable feelings felt inside that no one should be blamed for having. Together we will make a change and men will feel safe to express themselves and will receive the support, care and compassion they deserve.  

Sincerely,

Sara Estrada

Rough Draft Essay 2

November 25, 2012

Dear Young Men;

Most people are aware of the stereotype that women are more emotional than men, which I’m sure the majority of men will agree that is true. When you see a woman who is crying, the first thing that comes to mind is something along the lines of “women always cry and get emotional” without even considering what the woman is upset about. Granted we, women in general, tend to cry a lot but that doesn’t mean we are more emotional than you. We are just better at expressing our emotions.

There is another common stereotype that men should not show their emotions. Women often believe this and hold all men accountable for the stereotype. Although the stereotype has truth to it, it doesn't mean you don't feel the same emotions as us. Generally we show our emotions to the public while you keep your emotions inside promoting the stereotype. According to Goldsmith, "Men tend to have a greater control over their emotions and what they will display to the world, possibly due to having more difficulty displaying emotion than women." However, you usually express your emotions to only a small amount of people you feel comfortable with and tend to downplay your emotions while we tend to act as if the world is coming to an end. 

Talking about emotions is a very important skill to have but men and women have different conversational styles. We tend to talk faster when we get excited and interrupt you when you are struggling to find the right words. As a result of this excitement, you tend to shut down because you feel unable to express yourselves because we cut you off in your train of thought in the middle of a sentence. According to psychotherapist Barton Goldsmith, "Men find it more difficult to attach words to emotions and getting back on track in an emotional conversation can be very difficult for them". Although we feel the same emotions, you can't express your emotions very well which makes it easy to assume that we are more emotional than you.

There is another factor which explains partially why you can’t express your emotions like us. You have either consciously or subconsciously been influenced by your male peers to conform to the “guy code” which is a set of rules all men must follow. The main rules are to never show emotion, be aggressive and show no mercy. It has been discovered by psychologists that young elementary school boys have been influenced by this code in one way or another. According to numerous psychologists, “as a result, boys feel effeminate not only if they express their emotions, but even if they feel them” (Kimmel 616). Being the woman I am this makes me sad to think that you guys are put under so much pressure from other men and women to act a certain way. It isn’t fair that society holds such high expectations on the ways you are supposed to act.

On the contrary, we are labeled as emotional because we express our emotions by crying when we are dealing with too much stress, whereas you get angry. Yet anger is an emotion and men generally seem angrier than women but aren't labeled as emotional. Anger and sadness are both emotions felt and expressed by both men and women, but you get angry more often then we get sad. Think about driving: men and women both drive but usually we don't cry if someone cuts us off whereas you yell, threaten and sometimes injure or kill someone that cut you off. As well as sports; you often yell, cheer, celebrate or break things, hurt or even kill over such a small, minor hobby. Obviously both of us get angry and sad; different individuals within the different sexes display diverse amounts of anger and sadness.

Consider incarceration statistics, according to the U.S. Bureau of Justice Statistics, in 2009 approximately 2,096,300 men and 201,200 women were in state, federal or county jail. “One out of 18 men and one in 89 women were charged with violent crimes in 2008”. As you can see men are more violent than women and violence is caused from the emotion anger. If you guys would try to learn how to express your emotions, you wouldn’t end up in prison or dead. You guys have so much built up inside of you and you feel like the only way you can get rid of it is through anger and violence, but that isn’t the case. You would benefit all around if you opened up more and talked about your feelings before you do something stupid.

We are a lot stronger and tougher than you think. We endure physical pain in such a way you could never even begin to comprehend: childbirth. And some single mothers have full time jobs and are raising half the children in America all by themselves. Despite our pain, tolerance and strength we have. Ken Solin, author and men's support group activist, believes our greatest power is our emotional strength. We naturally care for others, especially our families. We can easily care for our children and husbands at the same time and we are not scared or embarrassed of our emotions, unlike you. "Men who think women are weak because they cry more easily than they do are delusional. Women cry to release their pent-up emotions, instead of holding them in and blowing up. Men have yet to learn this simple lesson." Solin has worked for over twenty years with men through divorces, sharing kids, single parenting, relationships, dysfunctional boyhoods, anger, depression and anxiety among many other issues. Provided with Solin’s background in men's mental health and the fact that he is a man praising women for our strengths and downgrading your conceptions of women, he successfully explains that men are incapable of being emotionally and physically as strong as us.

Men are also the causes of emotional issues to themselves, women, and their children. Fathers, who don’t spend time with their children or neglect child support, hurt them because they deny their children emotional support and stability, the most important aspect growing up. According to Solin, “Most of the male dysfunctional behavior that causes so much pain to everyone is related to their inability to respond appropriately to their own feelings.” You tend to take out your anger on us, not because you are angry at us, but because we are usually physically smaller and easy targets. Honestly, you need to stop taking out your anger on everyone else and accept responsibility for causing so much pain to yourself and the people around you and if you don’t want to do that for yourself, do it for your loved ones.

I want to specifically state that I do not blame you guys for the ways you act and handle emotions. I blame society and the standards set for you to live up to. It is ridiculous that you can’t express yourselves the way you need to in order to prevent detrimental consequences.

Consider rap music: most rappers are young men, specifically black men. The majority of people that have ever listened to a rap song agree that they sound angry and degrade women. According to Joan Morgan, author of “From Fly Girls to Bitches and Hoes”, “It is criminal that the only space our society provided for the late Tupac Shakur to examine the pain, confusion, drug addiction, and fear that led to his arrest and his eventual assassination was in a prison cell” (Morgan 606). I agree with her completely, I listen to rap every single day and I hear the pain in the rappers voices behind the lyrics. In my opinion Tupac was one of the greatest rappers that ever lived; he has a variety of tones in his songs. Some of his songs are very violent and aggressive, others are sad and depressing and some of his best songs are the ones that state the bold truth with the consequences associated. He was a very talented man that had gone through unimaginable things and he had no one to turn to. Society didn’t care what he felt inside, society only cared about arresting him and hearing his music. If society would have given him a chance, a safe place to express himself, he probably wouldn’t have ended up in prison then killed. This goes the same for all men out there. If you guys had a place to talk about the things you felt inside and felt cared for, you would be a lot happier.

We need to make a change together. You guys are just as emotional as us, if not more; you just express it in different ways. If you can accept the fact it is hard for you to express your emotions, regardless of the reasons why, then we can change this together. Women are programmed to care, love and nurture. We want to be there for you. We want to support you, make you feel happier and prevent all of the hate, anger and violence but you have to accept that you have and feel emotions in order for us to help. Once you do that, you can do anything. We will make society a better place where men are not scrutinized for having and expressing their emotions. Emotions are uncontrollable feelings felt inside that you should not be blamed for having. Together we will make a change and you will feel safe to express yourselves and you will receive the support, care and compassion you deserve.  

Sincerely,

Sara Estrada

annotated bibliography #2

"Gender and Stress." Gender and Stress. American Psychological Association, 2012. Web. 15 Nov. 2012.

This website had a lot of useful information, although I don’t plan on using all of it I found some of the statistics to be very helpful in proving my point. The website involves many statistics for various stress and emotional stimulants for men and women then compares them to one another. One useful quote I plan on using in my paper is, “Women are more likely to report physical and emotional symptoms of stress than men, such as having had a headache (41 percent vs. 30 percent), having felt as though they could cry (44 percent vs. 15 percent), or having had an upset stomach or indigestion (32 percent vs. 21 percent).”

Roberts, Laura. "Men Suffer More Emotional Pain from Failed Romance, Report Claims."The Telegraph. The Telegraph, 10 June 2010. Web. 15 Nov. 2012.

This article from a newspaper had a lot of great information about various emotions men and women feel after an intimate relationship is over. It had many different experts such as sociologists and psychologists, views on the emotions of men and women when they endure a breakup. I will most likely use a lot of information from this website for my paper. I’m considering incorporating different studies and surveys conducted such as, “It [survey] found that men in their early twenties find breaking up and the highs and lows of romantic relationships more traumatic than women. When a relationship goes wrong it has a greater impact on younger men's identity and self-worth, sociology experts said.”

"Love Hurts More for Young Men Than Women." Fox News. FOX News Network, 10 June 2010. Web. 16 Nov. 2012. 

I found this fox news article to have about the same information as other articles but it did, however give a different study with similar results. This article reports on a study between men and women ages 18 to 20 and the emotional effects of relationships on both. I liked the following statement and may use it in my paper. “The results found that men feel the effects of their relationship’s highs and lows more than women, challenging the commonly held gender stereotypes. Men experienced both greater emotional benefits when they were happy in their romance and greater stress when they were unhappy.”

North, Anna. "Men Get More Emotional About Relationships Than Women." Jezebel. Jezebel, 9 June 2011. Web. 16 Nov. 2012.

This website is interesting to say the least. I really liked the language that was used it was more directed at young adults and it was really easy to relate to and understand exactly what was said. I ended up laughing out loud a few times while reading it. The article summarizes the emotions men and women feel about intimate relationships. It has different sociologists, studies and took a more deductive reasoning approach. I’m thinking about using a few quotes from this website I liked the following quote. “Young men themselves — as well as pop culture in general — often promulgate the idea that women spend all their time talking about their boyfriends, while men never mention their girlfriends to their bros.”

Proposal Paper 2

Title: men are more emotional than women

Author: Sara Estrada (me!)

Topic: men get more emotional about relationships than women

Exigence: the stereotype that only women are emotional and get jealous

Intended Audience: men, women, teens, basically anyone that has been in an intimate relationship

Purpose:  to prove that girls are NOT just full of jealousy and emotions and that men are actually effected by relationship issues more than women.
Claims: men actually get more jealous and are more emotional than women in relationships
Main evidence: While girls have a tougher time coming to terms with a breakup, guys take it harder when the couple is having problems. When the relationship is going well, men get more of a psychological boost. When the relationship is going bad, women have a support system and are more open about their feelings than men. Men feel the same emotions but they only rely on their girlfriend or wife to talk to because they don't open up their emotions to anyone else.

I will use ethos by being a woman with experience in relationships and problems within them and that I have taken multiple psychology and sociology classes. I intend for the reader to see that I have personal experience as well as educational training.

I will use pathos by giving specific examples in which I have been in conversations as well as experiences where this stereotype has come up. The reader should be able to relate to these conversations and personal experiences and agree with my argument. 

I plan on using logos from various sources with facts and I will also reference the reading assignments pertaining gender roles. The reader should be surprised and change there outlook on this stereotype based on my evidence, knowledge and experience.

RA #3

"Bros Before Hoes": The Guy Code is a wonderful analysis explaining Michael Kimmels views on the pressures guys are put under to act a certain way. This section is part of his book written in 2008, "The Perilous World Where Boys Become Men". Kimmel writes this story to provide insight as to why guys act they way they do, he describes that young boys are taught from a very young age how to act by their peers. Kimmels exigence explains the negitive effects of this "guy code" has on men. I believe the intended audience is mostly young men, but also women because it gives great reasoning and examples about men's actions. Kimmel claims that men are are judged on their masculinity by other men and the guy code is a a set of rules men must follow to be a real man, he refutes that their actions are not biological. He also claims that women don't play a role within the code and the guy code causes social and psychological problems for boys and young men.

Kimmel describes a top ten list of rules composed by men in which they must follow: "1. Boys don't cry, 2. It's better to be mad then sad, 3. Don't get an-get even, 4. Take it like a man, 5. He who has the most toys when he died, wins, 6. Just do it/ride or die, 7. Size matters, 8. I don't stop and ask for directions, 9. Nice guys finish last and 10. It's all good" (609). If a guy doesn't follow the code he will  be scrutinized by other men and often times lose friends which leads to low self esteem. When he asked some of his male students what would happen if they refused to follow the guy code, he got answers such as, "'I would lose my friends', 'get beat up', 'I'd be ostracized', 'loose my self esteem'. Some say they'd take drugs and drink..'kill myself' says one guy. 'Kill them,' responds another.. One guy said 'I'd probably pull a columbine. I'd show them that they couldn't get away with calling me that shit'"(614). By these men's responses it seems quite obvious that men are afraid of what other men will think and how they would react. Kimmel explains that guys actions are not determined by the fact that men have an XY chromosome but because they feel the peer pressure by other men. "If it were biological, it would be as natural as breathing or blinking. In truth, the Guy Code fits as comfortably as a straight jacket" (615). He explains that in men's eyes, women have almost no place on the social ladder so it is useless for a man to be defined by a woman. However, "women often become a kind of currency by which men negotiate their status with other men, women are for possessing, not emulating" (611). Kimmel also explains the negative social and psychological issues caused by the guy code. He states, "boys are more prone to depression, suicidal behavior, and other various forms of out of control or out of touch behaviors than girls are", "boys drop out of school and are diagnosed as emotional disturbed four times more often than girls" (616). Kimmel believes these issues are caused from the guy code because in boys as young as three, were taught that "their connection to mother will emasculate them, turn them into a mamas boy" (615). Men are scared of what other men will say or think about them regardless of the situation, the guy code actually causes more harm than good to these young men.

Kimmel uses pathos by explaining how young boys are introduced to the guy code, such as his example about the three year old boy that was crying at the barbershop because he was burnt by hot chemicals. The barber said to the boys dad, he was a wimp for crying and he needed to stay away from his mom and the boys dad decided after that, his child was spending more time with him and less time with his mother because he was scared of his son being a mamas boy. While reading this I thought that was ridiculous, a three year old is going to cry, especially if he gets hurt. He shouldn't be forced to spend less time with his mom, he's only three and his dad should realize his child is going to cry and not take him away from his mom because he is scared of what other men will say or think.

Logos is used when Kimmel describes that 90% of all driving offenses, excluding parking violations, are committed by men and 93% of road ragers are male. As I read that I agreed that it seems pretty much true except I'm in that left over 10% and 7% when it comes to driving. I personally love driving fast and I have a tendency to yell at other drivers that don't know what they're doing.

Ethos is defined by his experience dealing with the issues men face with their masculinity. Kimmel is a sociologist, he has written or edited more than a dozen books on men and masculinity as well as editing the journal Men and Masculinity. He teaches at the State University of New York and he is a spokesperson for the National Orginization for Men Against Sexism. He has also been an expert witness for the U.S. Department of Justice in two sexual discrimination cases involving military academies which had excluded women. As a reader, after finding out all of his experience with this topic I felt he was very creditable and knew exactly what he was talking about.

I really enjoyed reading this story, it actually opened my eyes to the pressures guys are under. It's easy to think the majority of guys are just assholes but now I have a better understanding why they act they way they do. Kimmel provides wonderful examples and I personally believe the statements he got from some of his male students added a lot of power and proved his point very well. I also agree with the women's responses when asked how to know if a guy is gay or not. I found it shocking the answers some of the young ages 3 to 5 year old boys gave but it really showed how the guy code effects men of all ages. When it comes down to it, men will always be men and most likely deal with these rules by other men but hopefully now, us women can understand the reasoning behind men's actions.

RA #2

Title: From Fly-Girls to Bitches and Hoes
Author: Joan Morgan
Date: 1995
Topic: The ways rap influences young black men and women.
Exigence: The mistreatment of black women by black men.
Intended audience: Black women, feminists, hip hop listeners, black and hip hop communities as a whole.
Purpose: To discover and analyze the true meaning behind the lyrics and confronting and understand the problems.
Claims: If a community, specifically a black community, had a safe place for troubled black men to express themselves there would be a significant decrease in violence and homicides.

Main evidence: She shows how the lyrics have more meaning then what they seem. She uses the two most well known rappers that were murdered, analyzes their songs and concludes they were not angry at women, they felt regret, guilt and depression from other issues in their lives. She also brings up a great point when it comes to females being stereotyped as bitches and hoes; we allow it to happen by being in their music videos half naked. She wants to find the true reasons for the misplaced anger and come up with solutions to the problems.

Pathos: She uses pathos as being a black woman who has lost two of her friends whom were black as well, to homicide by black males.
Effect: the reader will be able to understand that she has personally experienced the issues she writes about instead of just doing research.

Logos: She uses logos by stating the fact that leading cause of death among black men ages 15 to 24 is homicide, usually by other black men.
Effect: it makes the reader think that all the black men that are murdered have died by other black men which somewhat creates a fear and bad image for ALL young black males.

Ethos: She is a black feminist, musician and writer.
Effect: the reader learns she has credibility as well as personal experience specifically with hip hop, African Americans, women and with writing.

My response:
I believe she is right, we, America as a whole need to find a solution for the anger to prevent the violence. The lyrics, specifically degrading women aren't because the men are mad at us, they are full of negative emotions that they take out on us and we make it easy by being in their music videos dressed like hoes. But what if we are wrong? What if black males are going to continue the violence despite creating a loving environment they could express themselves? All of our time and effort would be waisted. Although I am not black, I am a woman that listens to hip hop constantly and I understand the lyrics have a deeper meaning. The majority of victims have previously or presently acted in dangerous behaviors that lead to them becoming victims. I have personally lost several friends due to either car accidents, fires or suicide but I don't think the majority of drivers are killers or that most fires will kill someone. I think the song Changes by Tupac is a perfect example of a young black man wanting more love and respect from everyone else.